I was in the middle of a dream playing tennis with Anna Kournikova, when out of the blue Barry ran onto the court and grabbed my balls. I remember they were bright lime green and fuzzy new. Then he ran off the court and yelled over his shoulder “Follow me!”
I started running after him when I should have stayed with Anna, but I was dreaming and people do stupid stuff in their dreams, myself included.
I turned my head to tell Anna that I’d be back when I saw two black suits running after me as I was running after Barry. The whole scene struck me as being cartoonish, but then, a lot of things do. The men looked just like the FBI suits that ran me down under a heavy rain in Lafayette, but that was in a different dream with a different woman, and just like that I knew I was dreaming.
Normally when I wake up in a dream I start to fly, or I find the nearest topless bar, or I start winning at tennis, but this time I decided to see where we were going so I picked up my pace to catch up to Barry.
“Mind if I ask where we’re going? I said.
“We’re in jeopardy!” he yelled out, looking around wild-eyed. He was clutching my balls like there was no tomorrow.
“What’s the answer?” I asked him, because if this was jeopardy, everybody needed to know the answer. Otherwise, how could you guess the correct question?
“You haven’t picked a category yet!” he yelled over at me.
“I’ll take the FBI for $2,000, Barry.” I said.
“Double jeopardy!” he yelled.
Now I was confused.
“What do you mean? This is a double jeopardy question? Or is double jeopardy the answer?” I said.
“It’s the answer! Hurry up, they’re gaining!” he yelled.
I looked back and sure enough, the suits were getting closer. I started to think about the question and what double jeopardy was the answer to, when it suddenly hit me.
“Does this have anything to do with Lafayette?” I said.
“I’m sorry, no help from the judges.” Barry said.
I stopped running. Lafayette was either the question to the answer, or I was leaving this scene to go find a bar. When I stopped Barry stopped running too. The suits soon caught up to us.
“You’re being arrested for fraud.” one of the suits said.
“You can’t arrest me.” I said. “That would be double jeopardy.”
“How do you figure that?” the suit said.
“Because you already arrested me for fraud in Lafayette. That makes this double jeopardy. Do you remember Lafayette?” I said.
I heard Barry let out a sigh of relief.
“That is the correct question.” Barry said.
“Congratulations, you win $2,000 .” The FBI suits said. Then they disappeared.
People come and go so quickly in dreams, just like in Oz.
“C’mon Barry.” I said. “Let’s go back and find Anna and we’ll all go to the casino in Emerald City. I have two grand.”
“I like your balls.” He said. “Can I keep them?”
“In your dreams Barry.”